Pregnancy is the absolute greatest blessing. You get the privilege of raising and creating a smaller version of yourself, along with the drastic responsibility of making sure you do your job well, as you have been called.
However, pregnancy comes with its own sets of complications. Physical and mental. I struggled with issues that had me on bedrest for seven out of the nine months I was pregnant. I had never been angrier or more depressed leading up to this point.
I could only leave bed for once weekly showers and bi-weekly appointments and checks, not to mention hospital trips for preterm labor almost weekly and being told several times that baby C may not make it and I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place.
In bed, in the quiet, when the house is still and everyone is at work, is perhaps the least peaceful environment you can be in. That’s when the anxiety and depression come to play. There is almost a sense that this is your fault and you could be doing something more to stop this from happening.
I had an absolutely, awful, traumatic pregnancy. The furthest thing from the ethereal, zen, affirmation filled wall experience you can get. It is perfectly okay to not be in love with your pregnancy or birth experience. Mine ended in fetal distress, heart decels, and an emergency c-section even though the doctors swore he was fine…he wasn’t. And I knew.
The point of this post is one of acceptance. You may be in the same position I was in of months ahead of you of bedrest and not working. You may be looking at it with tears in your eyes and anger in your heart. This is okay.
We must move past that though if we plan to get through this darn thing – all nine months of it – with a happy and healthy baby at the end and a happy and healthy mama too…physically AND mentally.
Acceptance is key. Understanding is crucial. We choose bedrest for the sake of our health and our baby’s well being. We choose to rest. And in this culture, that is extremely hard to do. We choose to be brave in the face of adversity by having peace about our situation. But most of all, we take it one day at a time.
Allow the time to pass you by. Stop looking at it as a countdown clock, mama. You speak life into that situation and talk to your little one about how much you love them. About how you’ll take them on walks to see the stars in our galaxy, and to beaches to feel the soft sand in their toes and build sandcastles with. Although it may be hard, we need to bring peace to our situation where there is none.
And above all, seek peace from the One who invented time. Jesus feels your pains and your fears for this little one he blessed you with. He holds both of you in His hands. He walks with you through every moment from now and even after its all over. He loves deeper than anyone else could. and He chose you to be this child’s mama.
Rest in this.