I found myself perched on my favorite corner of the couch, going over my to-do lists in one of the rare times that baby C had fallen into a deep sleep. I saw the miles of numbered items, just sitting there waiting to be crossed off. My eyes shut and my mind drifted to how I didn’t feel well…how I wanted to lose the baby weight by such-and-such date…how I wanted to impress my husband with this new recipe/meal/outfit…how I wanted to be a better Christian (as if there is such a thing!) etc… the list went on. It then occurred to me: at the center of all of these thoughts, it all came down to how I wasn’t feeling as if I was enough.
Hence my thought: enough is enough.
It’s so easy to buy into the feeling in the haze of stress, ever fluctuating hormones, and the general attitude of society screaming ‘bigger, better, faster…’ that’s enough.
In fact, the root of so much meanness between women especially lies in feeling jelous and inadequate. We compare our clothes, or socioeconomic status, our bodies, and just about everything in between. We meet up for hangouts at coffee shops and leave with an LAX airport’s worth of baggage. I’ve felt this way hundreds of times.
If this is you, and you resonate with this: friend, we have the wrong friends.
We should seek out ladies and partners that build us up and exhort us to look beyond that shallow lens. None of this will matter in the eyes of Jesus. In fact, Jesus has made us in His image, which is absolute perfection and completely unique. It sounds cliche to say embrace yourself, but challenge yourself to go deeper. Think about it…
Someone loves your little quirks and the way your eyes light up when you talk about what you love.
Someone observes the way you look at flowers and nature and scramble to get pictures of the things dearest to your heart.
Someone loves how your hair falls around your face, and how you blush when you laugh.
But before we can truly give and exist healthily in a relationship, we have to fall in love with being thankful for our qualities and finding ways to put them to use and give back to another person.
Not fall in love with ‘ourselves.’
For many women who struggle with insecurity, it may feel near impossible to fall in love with oneself. It creates a turbulent and viscious cycle of trying to be okay in your own skin, getting angry and self centered, which turns into depression and self loathing. If you’ve struggled with being torn down from another person, or physical or mental illness, it is easier to slip into this cycle. This cycle can be avoided by choosing to appreciate and discover who God made you to be, with the focus on serving other people within that scope.
Challenge yourself with choosing thankfulness for all that makes you unique. How can you use one of your unique qualities to pour into others today?