young marriage is not for the romantics at heart

Everywhere, we see it.

The rustic barn doors with the bridal parties, the tables of petit fours and the beautiful cakes and aisles and invitations.

What happens after the magical day?

This is why I say that young marriage is not for the romantics or the starry-eyed lovers. This is what I wish all the young marrieds knew before walking down the aisle, feeling as if they are invincible. The reality is, all relationships are playing with fire – you can hurt eachother more than anyone else ever could. Both parties have to be willing to deeply love and cherish eachother beyond the picture perfect Instagram posts and into the actual real, hard, cold and blank reality. It is up to the two of you to paint it in beautiful colors and make it your own.

You will have moments of passion and of joy, and be able to travel to your heart’s content, so long as your wallet allows. You’ll be the first among your peers to find what you thought was impossible before. And you’ll feel like nothing could ever hold you back or bring you down again. You’ll relive the excitement and the beauty of that time you said yes, you did, for all of the time to come and until the end of days.

You’ll also experience hardship down the line, everyone does at some point. It will be sickness, it will be pain, it will be pregnancy, it will be tragedy. This is why I say it is not for the romantics…those who are only infatuated with the idea of love.

The idea of love is quite different than love in practice when you hold the barf bucket for your loved one, or when you hear the words from the doctor that you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place from all of your physical hardships. And it is certainly different in the face of death and ever-changing illnesses that will come to pass.

You need to keep that passion and that spark. Make time and an effort for eachother but don’t get stuck in the fairytale storyline. Learn to accept each bump in the road with acceptance and strength and make your own story with eachother. The best part about marrying young is the time you then have to discover eachother and bring out new shades of the other person no one has found yet. Take advantage and savor every moment, because before you know it the first year will have passed.

What a beautiful year it was, despite all the hardships.


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