Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely! I’ll just come out and say it.
It’s no secret that I’ve been having the hardest time in my 8 years of chronic illness, ever. Everything is coming to a head and it is overwhelming and all I have to hold on to is the firm hope that this is me leaning into the tape. I am near the end, I hope.
This has been a season of less friends then I have ever had before. I have lost a great deal from being too sick or too serious or just not in the same life phase that I’m in.
I struggled with that and it climaxed today. After a day of contemplating and feeling sorrowful for what I thought I had and lost, I am choosing to feel thankful every moment I feel sad.
The lack of popularity and friends has brought me to become more reliant on my family and husband in a wonderful way. There are less distractions and social obligations to fulfill, and I can truly focus on deepening the bond with my spiritual other half (shout out to you, J!)
I can choose to rest, which my overachieving and constantly moving self never does without force.
I can get to know God and stop fighting the process so damn hard because I’m running from the process and chasing every single distraction down.
I get to process things I’ve avoided and manage my stress in a healthy way.
I get to practice being thankful, even in making this list.
What are some things you’re learning in your own hardships?