when you’re the triangle peg in a world full of square holes

Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely! I’ll just come out and say it.

It’s no secret that I’ve been having the hardest time in my 8 years of chronic illness, ever. Everything is coming to a head and it is overwhelming and all I have to hold on to is the firm hope that this is me leaning into the tape. I am near the end, I hope.

This has been a season of less friends then I have ever had before. I have lost a great deal from being too sick or too serious or just not in the same life phase that I’m in.

I struggled with that and it climaxed today. After a day of contemplating and feeling sorrowful for what I thought I had and lost, I am choosing to feel thankful every moment I feel sad.

The lack of popularity and friends has brought me to become more reliant on my family and husband in a wonderful way. There are less distractions and social obligations to fulfill, and I can truly focus on deepening the bond with my spiritual other half (shout out to you, J!)

I can choose to rest, which my overachieving and constantly moving self never does without force.

I can get to know God and stop fighting the process so damn hard because I’m running from the process and chasing every single distraction down.

I get to process things I’ve avoided and manage my stress in a healthy way.

I get to practice being thankful, even in making this list.

What are some things you’re learning in your own hardships?


2 thoughts on “when you’re the triangle peg in a world full of square holes

  1. I too am going through a season of having less friends due to relocating to a different state where the culture if extremely different from what I’m used to. But it has been great to spend more time with God and get to know myself better! Thanks for this post 🙂


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